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Daniel Tosh Biography

The unusual mind of Daniel Tosh has earned him the admiration of his peers by winning over audiences with his unique brand of stand up comedy. A quick look at Daniel: thus far: Born in Germany, grew up a preacher’s kid in Florida, two sisters and one brother, surfer, decent student, bad allergies, began his foray into stand up, UCF graduate, took to the road and lives in Los Angeles on the beach and loves his dog.

Daniel is one of the most requested headliners in the country. He has also quickly evolved into one of the most popular and successful college acts, performing at more than seven hundred campuses. Daniel’s casual style and sharp material have proven to be greatly appreciated by his audiences,young and old (but mostly young).

Daniel made his network debut on The Late Show with David Letterman, and has returned to perform several times since. Recently, Daniel appeared multiple times on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. His previous television credits include The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Last Call with Carson Daly, Premium Blend, The Best Week Ever, The Test adn Friday Night Stand-Up. In 2002, he taped his first stand up special, Comedy Central Presents Daniel Tosh, at the Hudson Theatre in New York City. While still living in Florida, Daniel hosted his own popular late-night television show, TENS.

Daniel has performed at the most significant comedy festivals across the globe. In 1998, he appeared in the New Faces at the Just for Laughs International Comedy Festival in Montreal. Through the great response generated, he was invited to return two years later in his own televised Gala at The St. Denis Theatre. In addition, Daniel has also turned in triumphant festival performances in New Zealand and Kikenny, Ireland, one of Europe’s largest comedy festivals, as well as HBO’s U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colorado.

Daniel Tosh comedy specials

  • Name: Title (Date) Daniel Tosh Happy Thoughts Filmed at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco, California. The DVD was released on March 6th, 2011.
  • Daniel Tosh: Completely Serious (2007) Daniel Tosh Completely Serious Filmed in Santa Ana, California. The DVD was released on June 17th, 2007.

Daniel Tosh jokes, Quotes & One Liners

If you had to eat another human being to survive, do you think they taste like their ethnic background? Mexicans are spicy? Do you have to have chips and salsa before you bite into one? Chinese people: are you hungry 30 minutes later for more? Let's go everybody -- black people: taste like chicken.

God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.

Big can be beautiful -- just not to me. I find you disgusting; freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.

This is what I say to the most conservative person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal. Just because the state says it's legal, it's not like God's going to let them into Heaven. So you can still sleep sound every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates.

I never got a birds and the bees speech as a child. The closest thing I ever got -- one time, my dad was cooking breakfast; he's like, 'Sex is a lot like this egg. First thing you gotta do is heat up the bed real nice, get it nice and warm, get it ready for her. Then, you gotta take her, crack her over the head and lay her out flat, alright? Come on now -- wait 'til she starts sizzlin' really good, then you can flip her on over -- there ya go. Don't get too excited or you get yellow stuff all over the bacon.'

If you like soccer, then welcome to America. See, our country already has entertainment so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end 0 - 0 is not enjoyable -- unless, of course, the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies.

I'd like a game show with millionaires on it, and they have to play with their own money, and they can't win money, they can only lose 'til one them goes complete broke, and the show's called 'Ha Ha, Now You're Poor.'

We'll put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds' name, sure, as soon as we put one next to Babe Ruth's name. Getting to break records before black people were allowed to play? Excuse me, where is that asterisk?

Don't you love it when people in school are like, 'I'm a bad test taker.' You mean you're stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? I can totally relate see, because I'm a brilliant painter minus my god awful brushstrokes. Oh, how the masterpiece is crystal up here but once paint hits canvas I develop Parkinson's.

I assume the only reason we have the winter olympics is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing -- $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.

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